As caregiver, one of the most difficult things for me was keeping everyone informed about my wife’s progress.  We would come home from a grueling day of medical appointments or tests to sometimes find as many as 14 messages on our answering machine from well-meaning people that truly cared, who wanted to know “How is she feeling?” or “What did the doctor say?” or “What’s next?”

During the darkest hours of my wife’s chemotherapy we received a postcard from a friend who was on vacation in Tahiti.  It depicted a string of bungalows stretching out across a beautiful blue-green lagoon, all framed by palm trees.  It was dreamy, to say the least, and couldn’t have been any further from where we were at the moment we received it, both physically and emotionally.

Dealing with cancer is not just about cancer; it’s about life with cancer.  It’s about all of the stresses, joys, and responsibilities you already had in your life in addition to the new stresses and responsibilities that come with serious illness.  It’s easy to get bogged down.